How to create and maintain a sustainable work-life balance
One of the topics that often comes up when I am coaching my 1:1 clients is how we can “create the conditions” for experiencing more of what we want in our lives. That is especially true when it comes to how to create a better work-life balance.
Work-life balance isn’t something that we have or don’t have, and it’s not meant to be #goals. It’s a state of wellness and wellbeing that we can cultivate over time by tuning in to what we need, what we desire and making decisions to lead ourselves first.
As with all things that grow over time, a sustainable work-life balance requires cultivating the right conditions.
How we create those conditions can run the gamut from letting go of previous identities to step into what’s next, establishing boundaries for ourselves and others, getting very clear on our vision for the present and the future, prioritizing how we can best manage our energy, noticing what triggers our flow states, our joy, and our most creative problem-solving, and more.
The more conditions that we can create that support, or trigger, our own feelings of living a balanced life, the easier and more ingrained work-life balance becomes. Often, though, we can inadvertently create conditions or patterns that move us squarely in the other direction. If that’s you — and it has been me at times —it might be time to reevaluate the conditions that can help your balanced life thrive.
One thing to keep in mind is that being busy or having a lot of responsibilities doesn’t prevent you from creating the conditions for your own sustainable work-life balance. While being busy is something you want to pay attention to — it is not a badge of honor and it can be addictive — a healthy but full schedule can feel very balanced, depending on the person.
As I like to say, there are no rules when it comes to defining how you balance your own plate. A sustainable work-life balance is about understanding and fully honoring how you thrive.
Here are 5 ways that you can start to create the conditions in your own life for more balance, more alignment and more thriving — what we like to call “sustainable success”.
Put yourself on your own list, preferably at the top.
While it seems obvious that meaningful self-care is a component of healthy balance, it’s also often not happening when we feel out of balance. If making time for everyone else— your loved ones, friends, colleagues, clients and customers— is a nonnegotiable and you’re continually at the bottom of your list, balance will feel harder to achieve.
It’s important to remember that self-care has multiple facets and it may not be that you need downtime but quality time. The gaps can just as easily be in financial, intellectual, emotional, spiritual, physical or other forms of self-care. Even the smallest daily attention to this can improve your work-life balance significantly.
Stop overdelivering at work and at home.
Overworking is the enemy of balance, and while employers have some roles to play in creating better workplace cultures and norms, that is far from the whole story. I see just as many entrepreneurs who struggle with being always on, continually working late to get one more thing done, pushing to complete impossible to-do lists by Friday and walking all over their own schedule boundaries.
And it’s not just about “client/manager pleasing” tendencies or workplace expectations… our personal lives can be subject to overdelivering at a dangerous level as well. Conditions for thriving in your work-life balance will usually require a clear-eyed look at where and how you can scale back to showing up with a healthy 100% instead of a depleting 150% all the time. Conversations may be required.
Reconnect to yourself, your goals, vision and values.
Developing a clear and inspiring vision or life plan, setting personal and professional goals that move you in that direction while aligning with your values is like miracle fertilizer for your work-life balance. Decision-making becomes much simpler when we know who we are, where we want to be headed and what’s important to us on the journey.
These essentials also serve as a touchstone. When you touch base with this foundation, it becomes clearer which habits are and are not creating conditions for you to thrive. It opens up new possibilities and makes it much easier to tune out the noise and stay focused on what matters most for you. If these conditions are feeling strained, you might consider setting aside regular time to detox yourself from all the inputs (consuming a lot less) and get grounded with what matters most (connecting more).
Grant yourself the support that you need.
It’s time to let go of the superwoman (and superman) myth that we can do it all, all on our own (and of course, always look and feel fantastic while doing it). Humans thrive on support and connection. Achieving our most important goals usually requires that we get help on multiple levels, from tactical & practical support to community & emotional support to inspiration and expanding our ideas of what’s possible. Support does not always cost money. Start by giving it to yourself first by not taking on everything.
Where we can go off track with conversations about support is that it’s often framed as getting the supports you need at home and delegating at work so that you can work more, deliver more or produce more. The point is to be supported so that you can thrive — live the life that nourishes you — and feel sustainable in your work-life balance, not to embed unsustainable patterns by making them feel a little easier to continue.
Embrace progress over perfection.
Done is better than perfect. Progress is to be celebrated. A small percentage of forward movement is better than standing still. Behavioral science continues to show us that small wins consistently result in big changes and significant accomplishment. While we use this concept to build new habits, it’s apples equally to building more work-life balance.
When we get caught up in perfectionist tendencies, fears or comparing ourselves to (what we think we know about) other people’s experiences or results, we can quickly lose our sense of balance. Savoring — enjoying your experiences and celebrating your small wins as they happen — is a well researched way to enhance wellbeing and create the conditions for feeling more balance in your life. We can expand our conditions for balance and sustainable success when we are wiling to embrace and enjoy where we are on our path, savor what we’re working towards and acknowledge the growth and the celebrations all along the way.
There are many individual experiences, circumstances and habits that impact how much work-life balance we feel at any time. Knowing and cultivating your own conditions for balance can help you begin to put in place whatever you need to fully thrive — and more quickly catch yourself when you’re headed off track.