Just. Like. That.
Not immediately, but nearly always “out of the blue”. It seems to “just happen”.
When you’re not sitting at the computer, pleading for the good ideas to come, inspiration strikes.
When you’re not looking for love, you meet your partner.
When you stop obsessing about the extra pounds, your pants start fitting just fine.
This isn’t theoretical. It happens. (I’ve experienced all of it.)
So, of course, this has me taking notice. And as a longtime practitioner of mindfulness, the first thing that pops up for me is this: “when you’re not so attached to the outcome, the outcome has room to show up.”
But for all the benefits of learning to let go or hold our goals loosely – and there are a lot of benefits to that – there is more going on here.
It’s a stew of our mindset and our thinking patterns. It’s about limiting the distractions and building a strong personal foundation. It’s gradually learning to take care of what’s inside us instead of relying on what’s out there to fix it for us.
Some people might say it’s about energy.
I have learned that underneath it all is trusting. Trusting in ourselves, our vision, our ability to have what we truly want.
It’s trusting in all of that enough to let people be who they are, your boss be who he is, your body be as it is, your competitors do what they do.
And the truth is, trust is a process. Mindset changes gradually. There’s a learning curve.
But it’s a lot more fun and a lot more simple than the constant struggle of trying and forcing. It’s far less painful than running on the treadmill of the short-term fix.
Cultivating trust will save you countless dollars and hours chasing the one—the one book, the one class, the one teacher, the one date, the one diet, the one killer presentation at work, the one client. The one that changes everything.
Here’s something to try:
Notice the next time you’re holding fast to what you want, so fast that you must have it, that you’re measuring yourself against everyone who you think already has it (or might get it before you do).
Notice when your hands are so tightly clenched around the outcome that you are leaving yourself in the dust chasing whatever you think will give it to you. That’s not vision.
Just stop. Breathe. Go for a walk. Ask why.
Re-focus your attention to what matters. Your values. Your long-term vision. How you want to feel.
It’s like finding the unlocked back door to what we want to achieve. And letting ourselves in.