Is it time to check in with yourself?

Image: Dave Lawler

Image: Dave Lawler

A few times each year, I like to take stock and check in with myself, my vision, goals and experiences. One of those times is usually around Thanksgiving when I am looking back on the year and planning for the next. It’s also a process I tend to do on my birthday in early spring and also during the midyear.

I wholeheartedly recommend that my clients develop a practice of reconnecting with themselves in this way as well, in whatever cadence and rhythm that works for them.

The focus isn't on goals. It's on vision, on how my life is feeling, how my body is feeling, what accomplishments I’m savoring and what fun and what challenges are lining up to be on my plate going forward. There’s also a focus on keeping that plate just full enough, but not overfull — on maintaining a nourishing plate where there is space for giving what's there the attention that it needs.

Think of these reconnection points as a fun, big-picture version of staying present.

This year has me changing things up a bit. I'm not just looking at the usual big picture and intentions, but also what specifically do I want to bring with me into the next few months and year ahead. We're talking routines, schedules, mindsets, attitudes, habits, lessons, gifts of the tangible and intangible varieties. It’s a lot more about being than about doing.

This Thanksgiving time check in feels like it calls for a bit of a different perspective. So, I'll be doing all this while also taking a few days out of my usual routine. More white space, more restorative playtime, more self led and less concerned with what anyone else is doing.

Vision isn’t always about deep thinking and hard questions. Or even BHAGs.

It’s more about feeling, presence and possibilities. It’s about desires, dreams and how you most want to show up and why. Crafting your ideas of what fulfills you, designing your plan of where you’re headed, building your personal foundation — and checking in with yourself on where and whether you are on track — is a process to enjoy and to savor.

Let your vision for your life be authentically you. Let it nourish you. Make it inspiring and useful.

Here are six very simple, time-tested, “anyone-can-implement tools" you might experiment with to do just that.

Themes and playlists

Anybody who's done a vision session or a strategic planning session with me knows I love a good theme. It's always a part of my reconnecting time as well as new year planning. I also use themes for understanding what I want out of projects I’m planning and in my Reinvention Partnership work with clients. Of course, I didn't invent the concept, but I've been road-testing it for 10 years. It works.

How you might use it: Many people like the word of the year as a way to do this. I personally find one word to be limiting, so I like phrases or a three-word theme. Some of my clients have preferred setting a theme song or a playlist. Themes can be hyper-specific or all encompassing, including anything from expanding your career or business to head-on embracing of new situations in your personal life to enhancing wellbeing, leadership or creative goals. Can you see an umbrella theme that captures what matters most to you at this time? Themes are wonderful for setting an intention and also for reflecting on where and how it has shown up for you. They are also a great focusing tool: every plan and goal must fit the theme. Or it can wait.

The big list

An old favorite tool from many years ago, it's been a couple of years since I've played with this. But I have resurrected it this year, and I'm having a blast with it so far (and so are my clients). The Big List is a master list of everything I can think of that I want to do, be or or experience in a certain amount of time. I like to use 100 as a good round number and make it annual because for most people (including me), 100 is a good stretch and a year is plenty of time to see it to fruition.

How you might use it: When you've got a list of 100 activities, ways of being, things to do, places to visit, that intrigue or excite you, you will never be bored, and you’ll enhance your engagement with choice and intentional design. Whenever I catch myself wondering what to do, or needing a motivational jump start, the list is a go-to place. It's all at once a whole bunch of rooted-in-me ideas and a reminder to go create your life instead of letting it happen to you. One of my clients has previously called it "GoodReads for the Soul" and I think that sums it up nicely. If you love the satisfaction of checking things off a list, you might enjoy playing around with this one.

Your calendar

I'm a calendar fan, and a big believer in scheduling goals and self-care as well as commitments to others. I personally enjoy doing big picture planning on paper calendars and in planner books, where I can block out swaths of space and keep all the notes. Then I can transfer what’s needed to my digital schedule. But there are a million ways to put things on your schedule, set reminders, and make sure they happen. Bringing your calendar into the vision and reflection process is magic for building accountability and building a habit of breaking your vision (not just your goals) down into measurable pieces.

How you might use it: Anything that is a priority goes on the calendar. Period. For me, this includes daily exercise, lunch with my husband, weekly check ins with my planner, morning meditation and time for myself. I also learned early on in working for myself that time off needs to go on the calendar early . Honestly, if it wasn’t on my calendar early on, it would be unlikely to happen. I also frame out my ideal schedule. It’s not set in stone; it's a framework right there in color every day, reminding me of what I said I wanted. Spending a few minutes to check in with what’s on your calendar each week, and doing a regular review, is an excellent way to see if your time is going where you need it to go— and what might need to shift, too.

Top 5

These are the top 5 priorities that I choose each half-year to focus my time, energy and money. If it's not on the list, it's basically a no. Personally, I tend to work better with broad categories that give me some maneuvering room, so 5 priority areas can cover a lot of ground. Be sure to review them once a year, or if a major event creates a need for change.

How you might use it: When it comes time to make a big decision, choose a course of action, take on new professional or personal projects, even spend free time, you can mentally check it against the list. If it fits, it's a yes. Otherwise, an easy no. Before it became a habit, I used to keep my Top 5 written out where I could see it, on the bathroom mirror, at my desk, on the fridge. Now, it's second nature.

Establishing your energetic foundations

I first came upon this idea back when I first trained as a coach, and it so resonated me with that I devoured it — and built some very new structures for myself. I think of foundations as structural engineering for your life — your unique growth plan for critical elements such as needs and values, healthy boundaries, your own definition of success and balance, your strengths and your personal standards. It’s how you effectively manage your personal energy for everything you have to do.

How you might use it: I've yet to meet anyone who doesn't benefit from a well-built energetic foundation. It requires a bit of excavating and building upfront to get clear on what that looks like for you personally, but once that's established, having this clarity simplifies life dramatically. Each year around my birthday, I like to sit down, pour a cup of tea or a glass of wine, and give myself 15-30 minutes to reflect on where my foundations are strong, how I’m managing my personal energy and what’s changed, needs shoring up or is wanting to emerge. It's a beautiful coming back to self.

Gratitude reflections

There are numerous studies backing up the science of gratitude's role in well being. One showed a 15% reduction in stress in workers who took a few moments to reflect on what went right at the end of each work day. Another series of experiments showed that after 10 weeks of reflective gratitude journaling, participants felt more optimistic, were more physically active and had fewer symptoms of stress and illness.

Personally, as an intuitive feeler type personality who also happens to be a nerd for research on wellbeing and thriving, I've been drawn to evidence-based reflection practices because they work, yes. But it also feels really good to acknowledge others and to continually reorient your focus towards that which is going right.

How you might use it. Consider a smartphone app like Grateful or Presently for a simple, on-the-go way to capture moments of gratitude that can easily fit into your daily routines. A simple pen and paper/journal or an ongoing list file will also do. Even verbally sharing your "what went right" with a friend or family member each day can have profound rewiring impacts (this is the one I do most often). I don't practice this every day, personally, but I do use it a lot. I always make gratitude and celebration reflection a part of my coaching work, and my own weekly check-ins and annual planning, too.

These are just 6 ways to reconnect with and take charge of what you say you want in a way that harnesses the positive benefits of reflection and at the same time, fuels impactful habits. They're practices that are proven to change awareness, create possibility and positively influence your daily experience of life.

Which ones will you experiment with?