You don’t need all the answers

Image: TK Hammonds/Unsplash

Image: TK Hammonds

Ever feel like you’re supposed to have it all figured out? Ever wake up in the morning thinking that you don’t know how you’re going to do it all. Heck, maybe you don’t even know what that “all” is yet — you just know there’s going to be a lot of it. And shouldn’t you have a better game plan?

Life would be all margaritas on a tropical beach, right?

Well, if your life is in the middle of becoming, in the middle of change, in the middle of transforming or building into its next iteration — you know, pretty much being LIFE in it's transitional phases — then it’s time to make friends with not knowing. And with yourself.

If only you knew how to make this change go faster, easier, more smoothly. If only you knew precisely what the outcome would be, so that you can plan for that (or course correct before you’re actually on a course). If only you could tackle everything at once. "If only..." is exhausting!

It’s time to stop pretending you’re an omniscient superhero.

No one has it all figured out in advance. Not even those people you’re thinking of right now, the ones you may have been comparing yourself with. (That’s right. Stop right there and examine what you’re telling yourself whenever that comparison bug starts to bite. Is any of that even true?)

The good news is that, to make transformational change, to have more of what you really want, to launch into reality the things you dream of creating next for your world, you don't need to have all the answers right this minute.

You don’t need to plan your whole life.

What if, armed with a deeper understanding of who you are and what you’re great at and what truly matters to you, you simply made a rough map and started walking towards your values, filling in the blanks as you go along?

What if you’re creating this map not in stone tablets, but in pencil? What if the very idea that you have a rough framework to follow makes taking those steps seem so much simpler?

This is what it means to embrace uncertainty, be in the process and enjoy the journey. While those can seem like overused phrases, they’re actually pretty useful advice. It doesn’t matter where you desire to go if you can’t show up fully for the ways that you will get there, and that will get you there.

Trying to know it all at the start is how you miss the growth of becoming the person who is, has and does what you’re dreaming into being. This is how resistance to the vision, resistance to the change and resistance to the action start to become embedded habits instead of expected (if not entirely welcome) guests.

I want to invite you to take a deep breath and let go of the resistance for now, and just take the next step. Trust yourself and what you know right now.

That decision you need to make? Make it for right now. You’ll make others later, when the time comes. That job? It doesn’t need to be what you will do for the rest of your life, unless that’s what you want. But it can be better right now. That relationship? You don’t need to know “where it’s headed” until it starts to head there. But you can show up for it fully right now.

That life plan? It’s the vision to pull you forward and activate the parts of your brain that can help you get there. It’s a touchstone to keep you aligned with your values, strengths, priorities and deep desires. Use it and evolve it to your benefit, don’t hold it over your own head, waiting for all the stars to be perfectly aligned.

Try this perspective on when you’re feeling overwhelmed with resistance and the need to know all the things: Maybe you’re not stuck. Maybe you’re evolving.

Go on, release that ridiculously large weight that you place on your shoulders every single time you think you should have it all figured out, right now.

Instead, breathe. Keep the vision, and show up for this moment, this day, this week. Test out a few things. Experiment. Step forward. That’s what going to get you where you want to go — or better yet, where you’re truly meant to be. Make it count.

If you need a partner on that path, Reinvention Partnerships are here for you.