What are you talking about? Getting intentional about your conversations.
Often when we think of spring cleaning, we think of clearing out. Letting go. Detoxing our environments, our bodies and our full lives.
I’ve been in the midst of all of that over the last few weeks, spurred on by the glimpses of spring on display here in the Northwest (Sunshine! Flowers! Weather that doesn’t require a sweater!).
In between the hard work of deep cleaning the house, prepping the garden and spending two weeks on a cleansing food routine, I ran into a friend who mentioned that she appreciates my positive energy, particularly in social (and social media) settings.
I do naturally lean towards optimism, but it’s also an intentional energy choice to be constructive. That's a practice I've tested over time that has worked for me. The intentional part is the act of choosing which conversations I participate in and how, and the energy part is connecting the dots between those choices and how I feel and how I live.
If any area of life is always ripe for a spring clean, it's what we're talking about. This may be the most effective detox you will ever do.
We’re all engaging in conversations all day, every day. Some of them we choose and others we may get sucked into. Some we may not even recognize for what they are because they’re so ingrained or we’re operating on autopilot. Let's get intentional about them, shall we? (Please note that this is about actively and consciously engaging in your life, not about avoiding what is important but may feel uncomfortable.)
Conversations at work. From the contentious meeting with your boss to sharing your best ideas in a meeting to office gossip and water cooler chat, the conversations you’re having — and how you’re approaching them — impact your experience at work.
Conversations at home. How you engage your partner, your family, your parents, even your pets— these conversations are building your home life.
Conversations at play. What do your friends talk about when they get together? How do you contribute and do these conversations energize or drain you?
Conversations in your communities. Whether it’s attending a community meeting, chatting with the neighbors or commenting on social media, you’re having plenty of conversations in your communities every day.
Conversations with yourself. The inner dialogue with yourself that supports you or keeps you spinning is arguably the most important conversation of all.
Conversations in the larger world. In a world where so much is happening, many of us want to speak to what matters to us and have a voice. Intentionally choosing how and where you will — and won’t — engage can help channel your energy and engage your passion.
If you were to do a spring clean of the conversations you’re engaged in, where would you start?
Part One: Conversational Detox
Letting go of conversations that drain you is always an option, and it’s often a liberating one. As part of your spring clean, consider where you might want to change the conversation, try a new approach or disengage.
For conversations that feel draining:
Is this a conversation that I want and need to be a part of?
Where and how might I want to shift the conversation itself or how I show up for it?
What is my goal in participating in this conversation? What’s the result I'm getting? Is there a disconnect?
How can I add value to this conversation if I choose to engage?
Is there something for me to learn by taking part in this conversation?
Could I be listening more in this conversation?
Part Two: Conversational Fuel
Just as important as letting go of what’s dragging you down is tapping your inner reserves of energy with conversations that fully engage you in ways that feel good. This takes intention and practice, but it’s well worth the effort. Consider the who, what and why of your conversations to identify your conversational fuel.
Which conversations really light me up and add value to my day? Can I add more of those?
What conversations do I need or want to have to further my personal or professional growth or goals?
How can I engage in a way that feels good, constructive and true to myself?
What am I learning in the conversations I'm part of? What am I contributing?
Are there new conversations that I want to start?
If you're in the mood for a little spring cleaning, I invite you to start here and experiment. I'd love to hear about your results!
