There is no right way: How to trust your own wisdom

Do you ever get caught up in trying to do it all perfectly? In trying to do all the right things in the right way so that you can get the right results?

Or worse, standing still and staying stuck until you’re sure you know the right next move, the right answer, the right path forward?

(Trust me, you’re not alone there.)

When I worked in a consulting firm, we made our living teaching our industry’s “best practices” and “benchmarks.” It was, in fact, my job to find out what the most successful companies in our field were doing that was getting them great results so that we could share that with their peers, competitors and like-minded businesses.

The problem was that sharing how to be more like everyone else wasn’t all that motivating. And the business that I worked for didn't get where they were by being like everyone else either. 

So while we were compiling data on what everyone was doing, I spent more and more of my time investigating who was doing something different. Something revolutionary or unexpected. Something aligned to their unique priorities, strengths and values as an organization.

To me, that alignment is where the real learning and inspiration is. (We started sharing these stories, and our community agreed.) That’s what can spur the creative process of building something that fulfills us – whether it’s a business or a life. 

We’re all human, of course. So it’s in our nature to focus on what our peers are doing and try to fit in instead of looking to ourselves for what will make sense for our unique situation. It’s safer to follow the crowd, stand still until the correct answer miraculously appears or try to replicate someone else’s successes.

That’s a lot less confronting than making our own rules, trusting our own desires or doubling down on what makes us different.

Safer won’t necessarily deliver the results we want, though. Alignment will.

What I see most often is that too much looking around for the right way is paralyzing at worst and unfulfilling at best. I hear this all the time from my clients who are afraid to make a change because “no one will understand” why they want that. And I hear it from clients who are evaluating what’s next for them, and sorting through what they really want versus following an expected or widely accepted path.

If you’re finding yourself here, please hear me when I say (emphatically) that there is no right way.

What I want most for you is to trust in your way. 

There are many ways. There are expected ways, unusual ways, ways you admire and ways you don’t. And there are ways that are right for you. But you won’t know what those ways are until you do a little investigating and experimenting.

Invent the process, the work life, the business, the boundary, the goals that work for you. Create what you want around what matters most to you and to the people who are a part of or impacted by your decision-making, not around what “everyone else” is doing or what you think is expected of you.

Dig deep into understanding what drives you right now. What do you most value at this time in your life? Where are you wanting to use or develop your strengths? What needs will need to be considered (and met)?

Observe others’ successes, failures and expectations and best practices through your unique lens. What feels like a fit for you and what doesn’t? What lesson could you take away that is grounded in and inspired by who you are — your strengths, your values, your priorities and your desires?

Need help sorting through it all? Clarity Calls are designed to support you in that.