Five ways to live a more balanced life – for real

As part of my self-care/refocus experiment that coincides with the writing of my upcoming short books, Nourish, and Reinvent Your Reality, I decided to take a short "mostly hiatus" from social media.

I enjoy connecting there, but I also wanted to revisit how I’d most like to use those spaces and what would be most fun, useful and aligned to share. And the non-social parts of my life and business have been quite full. Full of delicious plans and new work, but full nonetheless.

We only have so much time and energy in each day.

The truth is, coaching people to find what’s next for them and to live fulfilling, balanced lives that offer them more sustainable success, joy and meaning is super fulfilling for me. I also value downtime and deliberate stops to take a look around and make changes when necessary. I value creative projects. I value walking my talk and living a balanced life.

If we listen to the external noise, the message is often this: “you can’t do that if you want to sustain your business/your job/your relationships.” Guess what? I can. I did. The world didn't crash to a halt. I didn’t lose clients and I was able to do the focus work required to write two short book manuscripts (coming soon!).

What also happened is that I felt more calm, more inspired, more creative, more balanced. More clear. More aligned.

Where would you benefit from a little more balance, calm, creativity, alignment and inspiration? Let’s step back and take a look at what needs to change. Here are five ideas, all of which can still happen while meeting your responsibilities:

Play the elimination game.

What are you doing with your time and energy? Which activities are you taking on solely as a means of getting something else? Which activities feel draining and which ones give you energy? Who are you listening to? Taking a closer look at what’s on your plate and why will make it very obvious where you could cut back.

Stop confusing “balance” and “perfection.”

Nearly always when someone tells me that “balance is a myth” or “there’s no such thing as balanced,” they’re confusing being perfect at everything or having a perfectly weighted scale of activities with having balance in their life. Balance is not about slicing your life into equal parts. And it’s not about “having it all.” It’s about knowing what truly feeds your heart, soul and mind — and making sure you’re getting those things on a regular basis. It’s about understanding yourself and what’s important to you. It’s making sure your lifestyle and your values match up.

Stop overbooking yourself.

Some of the best life advice I have ever received arrived during my initial coach training many years ago when I was challenged to trim my calendar commitments by 50%. That was not easy. I’ve always kept a busy schedule, but in committing to less, I learned the distinction between “busy” and “full.”

I discovered the hard truth is that I am in charge of my schedule. So are you. You decide what you agree to do and what you don’t. You are the one making decisions about what to commit to do. If you’re not feeling balanced, it’s time to take a hard look at what’s on your plate and why it’s there. What would it mean to say no, to renegotiate a deadline, decline a social invitation or set time boundaries with the people in your life?

Set aside 15 minutes of mindfulness.

If you’re convinced you don’t have time for this, then this is where you really need to start. It doesn’t matter if you know how to meditate or not, or even if you think those woo-woo meditators are crazy. What matters is being with yourself and the present moment for at least a few minutes every day. Breathe. Enjoy the silence. Hear yourself think. Every day. Don’t take my word for it, just try it and experience what happens.

Build a foundation.

What’s sustaining you? Like a structurally sound building, a structurally sound lifestyle and workstyle needs to rest on a solid foundation. The elements of your own personal foundation include knowing your values, understanding and meeting your own needs, finding community, setting healthy boundaries, defining success for yourself and more.

Let’s let go of the debate over whether balance is possible and just go create some. (If you need help, set up a Clarity Call and let’s chat.)

If you'd like a plan to feel more balanced in your life, check out Nourish, a self-guided online class to help you commit yourself to simple self-care strategies that work for your busy life.