You can do hard things (this is how)

Every time we start to think about creating something more in our lives or careers (leveling up), it's there.

Every time we create change or push ourselves to grow, we feel it.

We're stepping up and that means — inevitably — doing hard things.

Some of us do not love to hear this (and yet we know it’s true). It’s so much easier not to challenge ourselves in that way. Yet that usually leaves us moving forward and back in fits and starts, or feeling the stress of standing still when we know we need to do something different.

Designing and creating what you want at work and at home means that the time will come when you need to set new boundaries, raise your standards, have the conversation, find your voice. It may mean that you quit the job. Or make the leap. Take the much-needed time out. Ask for help. Take on a more challenging role. Honor new priorities. Push yourself out of your comfort zone into a brand new experience.

That's confronting (by design). It's so easy to slip back into what's comfortable and to avoid doing or being consistent with what you know needs to come next. But it’s in these moments where you make that choice to do the hard thing — and all the moments when you stay the path— that you are allowing and building the next stage of your life, your work and the next iteration of YOU.

What’s your next hard thing? When you’ve sorted the challenge in front of you and you’ve decided to take it on, here are 7 tips to smooth the way:

Know your why.

It doesn’t matter what the hard thing is, if you’re not clear on your motivation and if that motivation is not clearly lined up with your values (what really matters to you), then it will be difficult to stay the course. As a mentor of mine once advised, don’t commit to anything that you already know is not a priority for you. There are plenty of hard things to do in this life. Choose the ones that matter to you. Choose the ones that excite you.

Find the focus that will move you forward.

For the majority of us, that means a positive focus. It means believing—and reminding yourself—that you can do this. It means letting go of all of the things that are outside your control and directing your attention on where your actions will have a demonstrated impact. Break your focus down into daily routines and actions that will accelerate your progress.

Treat yourself like a trusted friend.

If your closest ally, someone you love dearly, was setting out to do something challenging, how would you support them? Well, it turns out that’s exactly what’s happening here. Instead of setting up a daunting or rigid set of expectations for yourself, consider instead what would support you best. What can you put in place to help you along the way?

Don’t insist on going it alone.

I know. I’m independent-minded, too. It can be tempting to lone-ranger this one, at least until you have it figured out. Don’t do it. Gather your support around you. Design an environment that is filled with reinforcement. Challenge yourself to be vulnerable, to not have all the answers, to ask for help.

Make it easier by using your strengths.

Do it your way. No matter what your unique strengths are, there are ways to use them to make what’s difficult a little easier. You can leverage what comes naturally to you to build resilience and creatively tackle what's challenging. (If you’re not sure how to do this, I can help.)

Gather your evidence.

You are someone who does hard things. If this is not a sentence that you’re willing to believe at the moment, then let’s take a step back. Make a list of every time that you’ve ever done what needed to be done, took a stand for your truth, powered through, made a tough decision, chose the uncomfortable but necessary option. How did you do it then? What made those choices possible? What did you learn along the way that will be useful now?

Allow for uncertainty.

When we do hard things, we don’t always know at the start how they will turn out. This is part of why these things are hard. Some of us are deeply uncomfortable with the idea of not controlling the outcome. Yes, that can be scary. But it can feel a lot worse to know that your desire to control the end result is stopping you from doing what you know you need to do to get where you really want to be.

Without doing the hard things, life stands still. If you want something different than your current reality (personally or professionally), if you want to grow into your vision for what's next, you’ll need to embrace what's new, uncomfortable, uncertain and maybe even difficult. Internally, and out in the world.

So here’s my coach’s challenge to you: Practice getting uncomfortable. Find one hard thing that’s calling you today. Do it. Follow these tips as you go. I promise, it's worth it.