What are you committed to?
Image: Jenna Jacobs
For a few years, I kept a sticky note attached to a board in my kitchen with this message scrawled in red Sharpie pen: What are you committed to?
I’m a fan of the visual sticky reminder because it prompts me to ask. When it comes to self-coaching, asking myself what I’m committed to is one of my go-to questions. When I’ve over-committed my time or my energy, this question sets me straight and wakes me up to the fact that I need to scale back or renegotiate a commitment.
It’s also one of my favorite coaching questions to explore with my clients.
When we are trying to decide between a few different options that all sound interesting — and this can be personally or professionally— it reminds us to check in with our values and vision to find the best fit. The questions and measures fall into place: Is how I spent my day today actually aligned with what I am committed to? Are some of my commitments in conflict with one another? Where am I unclear about my commitments?
Everything starts with a commitment.
Commitment — making a decision to invest time, energy or resources and then follow through — is one of the secrets behind changing a habit, adopting a new practice, starting a new routine, achieving a goal, finishing a project, having positive relationships, navigating change, you name it. Except it’s no secret. Our individual successes, however we define them, come down to what it is we are choosing to commit to every day.
A lot of the time, though, what we’re committed to might not feel obvious. It might be mired in all that we’re doing on a daily basis, or buried under a raft of expectations, patterns or constant metaphorical firefighting. We might need to do a little untangling to find clear answers.
One surefire clue resides in looking at what we’re doing and what we’re talking about doing (that’s a important distinction, by the way). On the days when your commitment seems muddled or conflicted, I invite you to get present with both of those areas and the gaps between them, and give yourself the space and grace to ask the question until the answer is clear to you.
What am I committed to?
Starting from this place grounds your decision-making and helps you more successfully design the work and life fit that you desire. Your commitment might be a single word, a value, a phrase, a phase of life, an important project, a couple of words to calibrate by-- even a theme song.
It honestly doesn’t matter what you are committed to or how you identify with it. What matters is that you’re clear. Focused. Committed.
This year, I've committed to elevate, in all areas of my work and life. It was a part of my theme for the year, and it's been evident in any personal and professional objectives I've set. One of my clients has committed to strength and wellness. Another committed to creativity at work and at home. Another has identified keeping a sustainable professional schedule as her commitment.
What will your experience be like? Consider choosing your commitments and taking an active role in what wins your attention, what draws your energy, what requires your physical presence. Here, at the year end is a perfect time to set new intentions. Here are a few strategies to help reinforce your commitments, however you choose to define them.
Decide what matters (and focus on that)
There are a million things we could commit to do or to be in any given year. Shiny objects are everywhere. Media can be a never-ending parade of what others want us to be focused on. Even performance reviews at work offer us ways to improve. But think about this, please. Will your commitment be about keeping up with others, setting halfhearted resolutions or performance measures or chasing the latest trend?
Or will it be about setting meaningful goals and having/being more of what really matters to you? The choice is yours, and it starts with spending some honest quiet time with yourself and deciding what truly needs or deserves your focus right now.
Commit to your self-care (even just the basics)
What do you need to be at your best? Too often, these are the first things we un-commit to (my scientific term) in favor of adding one more obligation to our calendars or falling back into old habits. That’s especially true as the year-end collides with the festive season, but for many of us this is true year-round. And this is the road to burnout, to overwhelm and often, to not meeting our goals because the capacity is drained. The big three are a great place to begin if you want "bang for the buck": adequate rest, good nutrition and moving your body regularly makes all the difference.
Put your big rocks on the calendar (and keep them there)
If it's what matters — if it's your true focus and your real commitment — then give it a place of honor where it’s possible to make it happen. Sit down with your calendar or planner and block out time for what you really want, whether that's time off with your family, leaving work on time, that conference that will grow your skills, regular gym time, a weekly financial check, that trip you keep meaning to take. Do it first, and think very carefully about your commitment before moving those appointments.
Limit your attention (set boundaries with yourself)
Consider choosing no more than 4 professional objectives and 4 personal objectives per year. Max. That’s plenty to focus on, and it's just 1 per quarter or per season, however you like to measure your year. When you’ve met them, feel free to add more, but resist spreading yourself too thin. With commitment and focus, you'll accomplish much more than you expect, while leaving open space for more flow, creativity and unexpected opportunity.
What are you committing to right now? What about for the year that’s coming up? If you’d like support in identifying this for yourself, book a Clarity Session and we will get that sorted for you.
