Confidence isn't a feeling. It's a result.
Image: Sharon McCutcheon
If I were more confident in my direction, I would have made more progress by now.
I'd love to start a business, but I don't have the confidence that I could make it work.
I've known that I need to make this change for a while, but I have lacked the confidence.
I hear comments like these a lot in my work. Confidence is one of the bigger struggles that I first hear from clients who are reinventing pieces of their lives or careers. It's understandable. Creating something new for our lives is no small undertaking. And like any large endeavor, there can be a lot of moving parts, a range of emotions and a whole lot of work involved.
Creating, upleveling and reinventing doesn't always feel easy. Actually, it can feel just the opposite, and often we equate "this feels easy for me" with confidence. These are not the same thing.
How do you confidently move forward with making something happen for yourself when you're not feeling it?
The truth is, we often look at this the wrong way round.
We don't need the confidence to act. It's through the consistent actions we take that we build that confidence.
This doesn't mean blindly jumping into action without serious due diligence, but rather a slower, more intentional unraveling of next steps. Instead of waiting for confidence to come find you, let's shift to trusting that you can build it as you go.
First, you'll need a little more clarity.
Often, when someone tells me that they lack confidence, there can be a clarity gap. This is where serious reflection is critical. What is it that you really want? What is the vision you hold for this area of your life? For yourself? How do you envision your challenge playing out in an ideal scenario?
Alignment is important.
Aligning your vision and your goals with your values and your natural strengths is the fastest way to make meaningful progress. This is integrity in action and it's so powerful. What matters most to you? What are you great at? How are these things tied into where you want to go and how will you call on them to get there?
Embrace progress over perfection.
The only thing that you need to be focused on is progress towards your vision and goals. Every time you take a step forward or gain new insight, you have won. While it's natural for many of us to get caught up in trying to control perfect outcomes, it's usually a huge waste of time. Do your best. Make progress. That is always good enough.
Reflect, then risk.
You cannot create change without doing something different. Smart, calculated risks and playing at the edges of your comfort zone do come with this territory. When you're clear on what you want, making choices that are aligned with who you are and have a plan for handling obstacles, then you've got this.
Learn as you go.
If you need to learn it, you can learn it. We are all walking examples of this, but we forget. If you were to approach what's next for you with a growth mindset, how would that change what's possible for you?
Know that failure is part of the process.
Fearing that you will fail or make a mistake can keep you stuck in a million different ways. But let's get real with this: in real life, there will be things that work and things that don't work. There are always mistakes and learning opportunities. They aren't about you. They're just a natural part of the process of dreaming, designing and living your vision.
Results require work.
Your work may be mental, emotional and physical. Usually, it's all of the above. If you want the result, showing up to do the work (even when it's challenging or not convenient) isn't optional. And it's in that consistent, intentional showing up that you will get results-- and your confidence will soar.
