Stop talking and start reinventing
Image: Kristina Flour
I was mulling over an idea with some colleagues the other day. The idea being that this thing we call "reinvention" is big. It’s scary. Damn it, it sounds really hard.
Yes. Reinvention (actually, any kind of change) can feel “big”.
Though sometimes, it just requires a few tweaks or a change of perspective before some of the work, that bigness, starts taking care of itself. Sometimes, really, the shifts are big but the actual changes are small.
Most often, living a life we love living and doing the work we love doing does ask something of us. It asks us to think differently, to dream, to put ourselves to the test of getting what we say we want. To take action. To allow changes to naturally unfold at the same time that we’re actively seeking them.
There are days when we look ahead and wonder how we’re going to make our end goal happen. I have a simple philosophy on this. It’s been road-tested for years, and it works. And yet, most of us (myself and everyone I know included) need a little reminder every now and again that, in this case, we really do have the answer.
The answer is to stop talking and start doing (and BE-ing).
Stop talking about everything you have to do.
This is my favorite “stop” because so many of us tend to do this: we talk on and on about the projects we have, how busy we are, what our schedule looks like. The whole time we’re talking about those things, though, we’re not actually doing them. We're stealing time and energy from ourselves. A business colleague of mine routinely calls himself out on this one — and me too. We generally have a good laugh over it, agree that the more we talk about things the bigger they get. Then we go do one of those things we were talking about having to or wanting to get done.
Stop talking about what you don’t know.
When was the last time that hyper-focusing on the obstacles and talking about all the things you don’t know how to do actually made those things happen? Unless you’re in the process of identifying who can help you learn something you need to learn or asking for specific support, this conversation not only wastes your time, it can create feelings of overwhelm almost out of nowhere.
Stop talking about what you’re going to do when you have time.
Time is finite, but our choices are fluid. Put it on the calendar or don’t put it on the calendar. Make the time or don’t. If it’s not getting done and it needs to, get curious about that. Ask yourself why. Then do it, or simply take it off the list without judgment or story. There's always the possibility that it's really not that important. If you tend to collect a lot of "someday maybe" ideas, you might consider keeping a file or a notebook where you can capture them. That way, you free up your energy and you can always come back to them when you have more capacity.
Stop talking negatively to yourself.
Nothing good ever comes of this pattern, so it’s one that’s worth working on. If your internal judge is well embedded, you’re human. But there are many supportive practices you can work with to quiet it and shift your inner dialogue. Start with noticing what you are saying: if you wouldn’t say it (or say it like that) to your best friend in the world, then do not say it to yourself. This one shift alone could spark a inner revolution, or at least a revelation.
Stop talking about what everyone else is doing.
Of course, it’s often useful to know how others have solved challenges or tackled similar obstacles. Others — people and businesses — can always provide inspiration and some very practical solutions. We can always learn something. And we also know when that balance tips. It's when you find yourself talking more (or worse, complaining) about how other people are showing up, conducting their business, growing their careers or raising their kids more than you’re walking your own path. It’s when you're continually comparing yourself to other people (and that would be the external view you see, not necessarily the full story) and coming up short. Trouble lies ahead on that path. In yoga, they say “keep your eyes on your own mat.”
The philosophy is simple, and it requires continual practice. That’s because reinvention is not some big, hairy goal to accomplish. It’s a day-to-day evolution. A mindset. A road with many stops along the way. And if reinventing something in your life isn't even on your radar screen, it still helps a lot with whatever goals and visions you are working towards.
Your challenge
The next time you catch yourself speaking your way into overwhelm or stuckness or fear, stop. Be quiet for a moment. Begin something, with intention. Keep practicing and watch what happens.
