What to ask when it's time for a change
Image: Sander Smeekes
One of the most common questions I’m asked by clients and potential clients is what should matter most to them as they find themselves in a space of re-examination — on the verge of reinvention. The truth is, I cannot answer that question.
What should I focus on as I navigate this change?
It’s a highly individual question with a highly individual answer. It’s your life you are creating. Your work. Your wellbeing. Your vision. Your legacy.
Imagine what you’d be thinking about if you were navigating this change.
The time has come. You’ve known this for a while now, and you’ve done everything possible to push off the inklings that it’s time to do something different. Because that means change, and change can be a bit, well, nerve-wracking.
Besides, you’ve comfortably settled into a pattern. You've gotten really good at the status quo. So, you put off the knowing and justify that, after all, nothing is that bad. Maybe your energy is lagging and you seem to have no time. You’re just doing what everyone is doing.
Yet… your definition of success and fulfillment looks a little different. And so, that part of you begins the search for what’s next. For the vision that you create yourself.
What if you were navigating this change?
Change has found you. And it’s an exciting change, one full of opportunities — and also full of challenges. You’re essentially walking into a sea of uncertainty. The only thing that you are sure about is that everything will be different from here on in.
You feel ready to take it on, but you’re not so sure what that will mean for the various parts of your life. It sometimes feels as if you’re walking off the cliff.
And so… you decide to plunge headfirst into making things happen. Life feels a bit like a rollercoaster as you feel the ups and downs of going after what you want but don’t feel fully equipped for the journey. You’re making it up as you go.
Depending on the scenario, the answers will be different.
Often, when we are navigating change and resisting a question or the ways in which we can locate our own answers, it's because we are resisting or unclear about important information. Information like how we really feel about the change, what we really want and need or what we believe we are capable of creating (or handling). Information like what exactly are the strengths that we bring to the world. Information like what is really holding us up (and why).
Our brains aren’t necessarily huge fans of change, and they need to be brought along with intention.
This is why, when you’re designing your new lifestyle or navigating a change in your business or career, jumping into action before you’ve done the homework to fully assess your inner resources and gain clarity on where you want to go can actually set you back.
The answer always comes back to Reconnection. That’s why it’s the first step in the Sustainable Success model for reinvention.
Reconnecting to ourselves is the difference between the authentic, life-enhancing choice and the reactive, knee-jerk action that keeps you going in circles and questioning your direction.
Here are five questions to explore and answer when your work or lifestyle feels ready for some big changes:
What’s underneath your desire for this change?
What is it that you hope that this particular change will get you? Change might be a response to a lack of fulfillment, a desire for more, a set of life circumstances, a long-held dream or something else. How is this goal tied to a larger desire or vision for your life? Or is it unrelated?
What are your core values?
We're talking about what truly matters to you: the non-negotiables or what you wouldn’t be without. This is the question we rarely stop to reflect on, and yet, the one that will have the biggest impact on your life and work if you answer and stay connected with it.
How will you apply your strengths in this change?
What are you naturally best at? When you identify these strengths and develop them so that you're living and working at a natural energetic peak, they can be a resource for success. And the change itself might be a means to further develop them.
What are your priorities?
While many of us hear similar (and endless) messages about what we should be prioritizing — success, career, money, family, to name a few — the reality is that we each will have a different set of answers. Those priorities are subject to change. Honor what is true for you at this season of life.
What would you do if you were clear and confident?
This could be a whole set of questions in itself because few of us are either of those things when we are navigating change. That’s part of the process. What if you trusted your knowing, felt confident, if no one was judging you, if you had permission, if you knew you'd be wildly successful, if you allowed yourself to try and fail. Navigating change effectively means fully understanding what's tugging at you and why.
Let’s be honest. No one likes to be told to sit with the questions when what they want is the answer. Of course, most of us have learned through experience that discovering our own answers is more impactful and lasting than looking outside ourselves. That doesn’t make it comfortable.
That said, support and guidelines for navigating the change process are invaluable. They are the heart of what good coaching is all about. In the process, we discover not just the answers, but the questions that matter most. And that goes a long way towards building everything else that we need to navigate the changes that come our way.
Considering a change to the status quo so that you can live with more alignment, intention, impact and fulfillment? Check out Reinvent Your Reality: A Positively Practical Guide to Revitalize Your Life & Work for a framework that will help you get started. Or schedule a call to explore 1:1 coaching support.
