Three keys to create better balance, your way

One of the top concerns and challenges for many of the clients I coach with is how to artfully and strategically balance, or integrate, their often pretty full personal and work lives. While it’s not true of every client, it has repeatedly shown up across work roles, organizations, geographies, and life situations.

Many of us are increasingly finding it a challenge to balance the roles, responsibilities, dreams, desires, goals and requirements of our daily lives, at least in the way that we really want to be doing.

Small business owners and solopreneurs often tell me they feel like they’re running all the time just to keep things moving forward. Busy professionals in demanding jobs tell me they’re working 50+ hour weeks and still turn the computer back on after work hours to make a dent and meet the expectations of their organization and their team (or the high bar they’ve set for themselves). Too many people tell me that taking care of what they know they need - emotionally, physically and mentally - feels like it’s taking a backseat.

The paths that lead to burnout are well-documented and clearly laid out, and over the past few years, we’ve started to see a push back against the types of work cultures and work ethics that lead us there.

But while we’re in the process of rewriting those rules on cultural and organizational scales, there are assumptions we’re making as individuals that are also leading us down those paths. And they’re not the only choices we have.

We need to tune out the noise and stay open to the reality that there are plenty of ways we can start to create more balance for ourselves right now. We cannot outsource or continue to ignore our wellbeing.

This is not letting organizations and cultures off the hook. It’s handling what is within our control and working to influence what we can at the same time.

It’s recognizing that taking control of our career and designing our life with more intention includes choosing a level of control over how those things are affecting our stress and wellbeing.

There aren’t one-size-fits-all prescriptions for this. It’s a matter of digging deep and getting clear on the right mix of strategies for you. That means knowing what your real priorities are and why. Committing to your non-negotiables. Questioning your assumptions. Doing things differently so that you can create a different result.

Mostly, it’s a practice that we build over time. But we need to begin.

Here are three practical, proven and cost-free ways to start creating some new rules — and a lot more balance — for yourself.

Change your mind.

It’s near impossible to achieve the thing that you have convinced yourself is impossible. This requires a mindset shift. Before you can have a joyful, fulfilling life and work that feeds you instead of drains you, well, you have to believe that it’s possible to have that and you have to be willing to take steps towards that goal, even when it’s uncomfortable or challenging how you’ve operated until now.

If you hold beliefs about “balance” being unachievable, then you naturally won’t be changing much to achieve it. If you believe there's not another way to work, even though this one is killing your soul, you won’t hear (or implement) ways to change that. If you believe that working to burnout levels is the only way to get ahead, you'll eventually fall back to that behavior. Your first step is simple. Start within.

Adopt the beliefs that support the balance that you want to achieve, not ones that create additional obstacles to achieving it.

Look for the evidence to support this new thinking, and trust me, you will find it. It’s out there.

Own your priorities.

This world we live in is one giant supermarket. It’s filled with choices that nourish us and choices that will eventually deplete us. Choices that support our thriving are based in knowing what matters most to us. If we prioritize a balanced, healthy diet, for example, we’ll fill our shopping basket in one way. If we’re not thinking about that, we’ll fill it another way. If we’re stressed, numbing out and judging ourselves for not feeling the way we want to feel, we'll probably fill it yet another way.

How are you filling the basket of your life? Are you grounded in your own personal definition of success and filling your time accordingly?

Sometimes this means making decisions that disappoint others, changing your game plan or letting go of what you've been told you "should" do. It absolutely requires getting clear on what you what you crave for yourself, your family and your career. And it will usually require unlearning embedded patterns and practicing new mindsets and behaviors.

Start small.

Identify 2-3 small, realistic and meaningful tweaks that you can make right away. Maybe it’s...

adding a walk around the block to your daily schedule to help combat the physical effects of sitting or stress
carving out an hour a week for strategic thinking or deep work
better understanding your strengths so you can delegate the right things or shift your work focus
regular screen-free and technology-free time
remembering to play
eating a healthy breakfast
planning ahead to get a good night’s sleep

Starting small helps create wins because we’re committing to achievable, stress-free forward progress. And it helps to counter the unnecessary drama and stasis that can happen when we’re pressuring ourselves to compete with other than integrate into the many other commitments and priorities we have.

Once you're in the new groove, you can stretch to more. Test your way to what feels nourishing and fulfilling. It will evolve with you, but I promise you’ll start to see results.

Where will you start to create the balance and sustainable success that you want? What else would you add to this list? I’d love to hear what’s working for you and what you’re starting to put into practice.

If you need help creating a plan to better integrate your busy life, check out my post The Essential Guide to Achieving Work-Life Balance in an Always-On World and my book Nourish: 28 Daily Dares for Busy People Craving Sustainable Self-Care. Or book a Clarity Call and we’ll build your next steps together.