When PERFECT is just right
Photo credit: Red Flower
In a recent newsletter, I shared a fun coaching exploration that I love to use in my work. (If you’re not on the newsletter list yet, you can fix that here, and get a free planning playbook to boot.)
When my clients are feeling timid and squeamish about a challenge or they’re afraid to experiment and stretch their comfort zone, I find the sneaky culprit can often be a quest for (unattainable) perfection. But sometimes, a little bit of perfect is exactly what is called for. I learned a version of this valuable exploratory tool from Carol Kauffman, founder of Harvard's Institute of Coaching.
My own version is slightly different because since then I have adjusted and evolved it to better align with my own way of working and with the typical challenges and scenarios – and personalities – that make up my coaching practice.
This is an effective method for diving deeper into what’s got you stuck in a way that brings your whole ecosystem into the equation. I also find that it works well for exploring a variety of situations, from charging up your personal energy or momentum to identifying work-life integration strategies to working through personal or professional leadership questions. Let’s take a look, shall we?
Before we begin, hold in your mind something that’s been feeling stuck for you. Now, let’s PERFECT it.
Physical wellness
Since we’ve all got one, the physical body is a natural place to start. Sometimes, when we can’t move forward or are unclear, there may be a physical concern or imbalance that needs addressing. Our bodies are also excellent emotional indicators. From your mental energy and vitality to your physical wellbeing to potential health indicators, take an inventory of what you notice lately in your body. What might your body be telling you that you need to consider or address?
Environmental factors
It is said, and I believe it to be true, that our environment often wins out over other influences. The environments you are operating within, at home, at work and within your communities, can support and sustain you, nudge your forward or deplete you. Is it possible that solutions lie in making adjustments to your environment? How might you leverage your environment so that it sets you up for success?
Relationships
Nothing happens in a vacuum. Where do your relationships come into play for this situation? Are your personal relationships supporting or conflicting with your desired outcome? How might your network be tapped for new solutions? Don’t forget to consider your most important relationship — the one you have with yourself — as well as how you are relating to the issue at hand.
Feeling what you feel
How you are feeling emotionally is a great source of information, but it’s not always reliable when you're not present enough to name it and acknowledge it. What feelings are coming up around this situation or topic? How do you want to feel? Might it be possible to leverage the information that your emotions are providing to move forward? How might you draw on emotional strengths that come naturally to you?
Empowering your mind
How we think — and how we relate to what we think — plays a significant role in how we experience our daily reality, and what we choose as a result. In many ways, our thoughts deeply influence and can even create that reality. When you check in with your mental chatter, what's going on in there? Might there be another perspective to explore? Can you access a more empowering line of thinking? How can you utilize mindfulness practices to build your mental fitness around this situation? A caveat here: sometimes, in life, we may well encounter situations we do not control and our influence shifts to how we can work with those situations.
Connecting the dots
What about this situation feels familiar? Where might you find connections with your past experiences or with what you have been envisioning for the future? Are there connections to something bigger that you know, but have been avoiding? You might already hold solutions that have worked for you in similar situations that you can build upon. This might be a new opportunity to develop or call on a key strength that you already possess. What have you drawn on in the past that might serve you well now?
Transcending difficulty
There are times when we all encounter obstacles and difficulties. Some of them are large, some small, some self-created or even imagined. Some are very real. Remembering to tap into your go-to wellbeing resources for such times — prayer, meditation, supportive people, nature — can help you re-establish resilience, nourish yourself and have the emotional and mental space to choose how you will respond.
I’d love to hear how you “perfect” your next challenge.
